


Missing You

by cestlavieminako



Category: Kamen Rider Kuuga
Genre: Asexual Character, Demisexuality, I knew I needed to write this as soon as I finished reading the novel, I need them to be happy and together or I will simply PERISH, M/M, first time fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:41:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24365221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cestlavieminako/pseuds/cestlavieminako
Summary: After thirteen years, Ichijou finally sets eyes on Godai again, and long buried feelings are reawakened.
Relationships: Godai Yuusuke/Ichijou Kaoru
Comments: 10
Kudos: 19





	Missing You

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place directly after the Kuuga novel, so overall spoilers for that (and for the series in general)! If it feels like kind of an abrupt beginning, I set it up to continue right from the last paragraph in the novel.
> 
> (and I'm sure that this is what canonically happened after the end of the novel, you can't convince me otherwise)

It felt like an eternity before Godai reached him, but as soon as he was within reach, Ichijou reached out and wrapped his arms around the other man, pulling him into a tight embrace that he had waited thirteen years to give him.

Thirteen years. Thirteen years of wondering where Godai was, if he was alive, if he was well, if he was healing, if he would ever return so Ichijou could lay eyes on him again.

Ichijou’s thoughts drifted back to the day his father was to be cremated, and his mother’s reaction, when Ichijou had sworn that he wouldn’t allow himself to get close enough to anyone so he would never have to feel emotions like that when he inevitably lost them.

But it was too late, he realized. He’d already given his heart to Godai a long time ago, even if neither of them had realized it.

He felt Godai’s arms wrap around his waist, and his shoulders shook silently. Was he crying? Ichijou had already given up on trying to staunch the flow of his own tears; and besides, Godai had to have noticed them by now, so why continue to pretend? Not after he’d admitted to wanting to see Godai’s smile after all this time. He could have simply let the other man go, but the thought of not seeing him for another thirteen years—or, even worse, _never_ seeing him again—had hurt too much to even consider.

His grip on Godai tightened ever so slightly, as if he were afraid of the other man slipping out of his grasp and vanishing like a dream, because that’s surely what this was. 

Godai shifted slightly in his arms, and Ichijou met his gaze for a moment, praying that Godai wouldn’t attempt to leave again.

But instead, Godai leaned in and pressed his lips to Ichijou’s.

Right out here, in the open, where absolutely anyone could see them.

Ichijou found that he didn’t care if anyone saw. Thinking back on several conversations he’d had since this case had started…something like this would probably be expected, or someone would sigh and say that it was about time.

Yes, Ichijou thought, his fingers running through Godai’s hair as he deepened the kiss. It _was_ about time. He had wanted this for nearly as long as he’d known Godai. The man had wormed his way into Ichijou’s heart before he’d even realized it, so long ago, and when he’d vanished after the battle with Number 0, Ichijou had been forced to go about his days with a large piece of his heart missing.

_Thirteen years..!_

When they finally parted, they were both gasping for breath, still holding one another close, as if they couldn’t possibly stand to be apart again, and Ichijou took a moment to simply look at Godai.

He looked…good. A little scruffy, his hair a bit longer than it had been. When he met Ichijou’s gaze and smiled, it was that same smile, but there was a hint of weariness in his eyes that hadn’t been present before. 

Godai had fought so hard. And then he’d left, so he could do battle with his own mind and heart, so he wouldn’t lose himself. And then…surely by then, he had healed, perhaps he had even considered returning, and then he’d _had_ to, because of these new Unidentified Lifeforms. He’d fought Raio to save millions of people, to keep Mika from succumbing to the darkness in her heart, even if it meant that his own healing would have to start over from scratch.

It wasn’t fair!

Godai leaned his head against Ichijou’s shoulder, but in the silence, he could hear the other man’s words perfectly.

“Ichijou-san…you wanna get out of here?”

Oh, it would be irresponsible to simply leave, after such a large battle, with so many of their comrades from the old days involved! Surely they wanted to see Godai, too.

And yet…when Godai turned his head up to regard Ichijou, he was the only thing reflected in his eyes. 

In that moment, all Godai saw was Ichijou. All Godai _wanted_ was Ichijou.

Ichijou nodded jerkily, his heart hammering in his chest, and with shaking hands, he sent a text to Sugita, saying that he was with Godai, that he needed to leave, but he would help file the report later. He at least needed to let everyone know that they were all right.

As he and Godai slid into the cruiser, Ichijou’s phone chimed with a reply. 

_You’ve been waiting for him for 13 years. Take your time. We’ve got it taken care of._

*

Ichijou felt a bit apprehensive, letting Godai into his apartment. Somehow, in all the time they’d spent together during the Unidentified Lifeform cases, Godai had never seen his home. Ichijou supposed there had never been a reason to bring him here; he preferred to keep his work and personal lives separate, and he never had company over, except on the very rare occasion that his mother visited him.

So of course the one time he had company—and it was _Godai_ , no less—it was still a bit of a mess from when he’d been desperately trying to find that photograph of the two of them from back then.

But Godai hardly seemed to notice; he was too busy looking around the room, as if trying to memorize every square inch of Ichijou’s home. As if he were being shown something very rare and precious.

“I don’t want this to be a one-time thing.”

Godai glanced at Ichijou. “Hmm?”

Ichijou felt heat rising into his face, but he continued, “If we’re going to do this…I don’t want to wake up in the morning and find you gone, and have to wait another thirteen years for you.” He trailed off, suddenly feeling incredibly selfish for what he was saying. “I don’t want to keep you from your travels, but…but you have people here who can help you heal, too.”

A hand closed around his, and Ichijou was startled at how close Godai suddenly was.

“The only one I want to help me heal is _you_ , Ichijou-san,” he murmured, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, before lifting it to brush his lips across the skin. “And…after all this time…do you really think one time will be enough?”

Ichijou sucked in a surprised breath, a pleasant jolt surging through his body from Godai’s words.

“First, though…I’d like to wash that battle off me,” Godai admitted. “If your shower is big enough for both of us, that’ll save time.”

It was a good idea, Ichijou had to admit; he wanted to wash off the sweat and the lingering stench of fear and adrenaline as well.

So they found themselves in Ichijou’s shower, which was a bit of a tight squeeze, but it ensured that they had to stay close to one another the entire time, and that seemed to suit them just fine.

“You’re working out now, Ichijou-san?” Godai had murmured, once Ichijou had undressed, running his hand slowly over his shoulders, fingertips skating over his pecs, pleased to see Ichijou shiver from the touch.

“I want to stay in good shape…it’s not as easy since I’m getting older,” Ichijou said. “You…you look like you haven’t even changed since then.”

Godai had shrugged out of his clothing, and they’d stepped into the shower, sighing as the warm spray pelted against sore muscles. “Maybe the Amadam slowed my aging down a bit,” Godai said, reaching for Ichijou’s shampoo and lathering the other man’s hair up. “You look good, though. Almost the same as back then. Just a little more buff, and your hair’s a bit shorter.”

“It had gotten too long during the Unidentified Lifeform case,” Ichijou replied, making a small sound of contentment as Godai moved on to start soaping his body up, and he relaxed under his hands. This was so intimate, but so familiar, as if they’d done this dozens of times before.

“You’ve just gotten more handsome,” Godai stated with a grin, as Ichijou took over and began to wash him. “Do they all still ask if you have a girlfriend, like they used to?”

Ichijou paused, his hand resting between Godai’s shoulder blades. “No. I think…when they used to ask that, it was when you had been in my life long enough to start worming your way into my heart. Maybe I _was_ acting a little differently. I didn’t get it back then, why everyone was suddenly convinced I had a girlfriend. Since you left…they don’t mention it anymore. Every so often, someone will say I need to get married and settle down.” He sighed, shaking his head and continuing his task, reveling in the feeling of Godai’s skin beneath his hands. “I attended Sakurai’s wedding, and caught the bouquet.”

Godai laughed. “Really?”

Ichijou couldn’t help but smile as he nodded. “Purely by accident. Allegedly.” 

“Hmm…I wonder,” Godai murmured, taking a step closer to Ichijou and brushing their lips together. 

“I’m sure there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind who I want to be with after tonight,” Ichijou said. “You reappeared, and I dropped everything and ran off with you.”

“I don’t know if I would have been able to walk away again, if you hadn’t stopped me,” Godai admitted, ducking under the shower’s spray after Ichijou had rinsed off. “It would have been the right thing to do. After such a battle…it would have been safest for me to go away again. Make certain that I’m still _me_. If you hadn’t been there, Ichijou-san…I thought I was strong enough, but…you were _crying_. I couldn’t just leave you like that. It was always a rare thing to see, but I’ve wanted to see Ichijou-san’s smile for a long time now.”

Ichijou’s fingers brushed along Godai’s jaw, tilting his head up until their eyes met, and he couldn’t help the smile that crossed his lips, one that was equal parts happiness, relief, and pure adoration. “Godai…please…”

Godai knew what Ichijou wanted, without him even saying it, and he would have been lying if he’d said that he didn’t want the same thing just as badly. His body agreed very enthusiastically, his cock beginning to stiffen as he drew Ichijou closer and kissed him for all he was worth, his hands skating across the other man’s wet skin, hearing him whimper softly into the kiss, until his hands pressed against Ichijou’s lower back, fingertips resting just above his backside.

When they finally came up for air, the water was beginning to run cold, and they were both quite flushed. Godai turned the water off and they both exited the shower, grabbing their towels and drying off as quickly as they could manage, barely able to keep their eyes off one another. Ichijou had never thought much of the term eye-fucking until then, as he tried to do something as simple as towel himself dry while Godai’s eyes roamed over his body like he was something good to eat, and he wasn’t exactly sure where to begin.

Would they even make it to the bedroom?

“Oh! Almost forgot…” Godai exclaimed, hurrying from the room and leaving Ichijou with a perplexed look on his face. Once Ichijou had dried off, he wrapped the towel around his waist, leaving the bathroom and peering out into the living room, where Godai was bending over to rummage through his backpack. Ichijou couldn’t help but shamelessly ogle him, since Godai had his towel slung over his shoulder. It was quite a nice view.

Then Godai was straightening up and turning to face Ichijou, holding a small box of condoms and a bottle of lube in his hand. “Definitely wanted to grab these before we wind up too…occupied.”

The smile he directed at Ichijou had his heart skipping a beat, and he couldn’t help but catch Godai’s hand and tug him rather insistently toward the bedroom. 

Being in close proximity to a bed seemed to add fuel to the fire that was already smoldering between them, and they wound up in each other’s arms once again, kissing each other for all they were worth. Ichijou felt the towel being tugged from his hips, and then Godai was pressing close to him, their shafts rubbing against one another. Soft groans echoed in their throats as Godai walked Ichijou backward to the bed, guiding him onto the mattress until he was sprawled on his back, before he drew back slightly, dropping the condom box beside Ichijou, but keeping the lube in his hand.

Godai’s lips moved along Ichijou’s jaw, down to his neck, the scruff on his face tickling Ichijou’s skin. A hand trailed down Ichijou’s side as Godai’s lips continued moving downward, sucking lightly at his collarbone, nibbling along a pec, tongue darting out to flick teasingly against a nipple, all while Ichijou writhed and moaned beneath him. He continued downward, pressing kisses to Ichijou’s stomach, teasing his navel with his tongue, hearing Ichijou’s breath coming out in short gasps as Godai grew ever closer to his shaft.

As he moved along, Godai had flicked open the cap on the bottle of lube, pouring some of the liquid onto his fingers, certain that Ichijou was watching his every move. “Relax for me, ok?” he murmured, running his tongue lightly over the head of his shaft.

Ichijou’s eyes fluttered closed from the barely there touch, slowly opening them again when he felt Godai moving between his legs, his hand moving slowly along Ichijou’s thigh, before venturing further back, one finger swiping lightly across flesh so sensitive, Ichijou’s body bucked, a startled gasp leaving his lips. This was unknown territory for him; of course he knew how sex between two men would work, but there was a difference between knowing about it and actually _experiencing_ it, even if they had barely begun.

“Ichijou-san? You ok?” Godai murmured, pausing and meeting Ichijou’s gaze.

Ichijou nodded, his face suddenly feeling hot. “I’ve…never done this before.”

Godai looked incredulous. “Really? Never?”

Ichijou hesitated for a moment, suddenly feeling so embarrassed, before he blurted, “You were the only one I ever wanted to do any of this with.”

And it was true. Ichijou had grown up not interested in dating, or kissing, or sex. At first, he’d simply thought that it was due to the promise he’d made himself, to never get close enough to anyone that would affect him so strongly if they were to suddenly die. He’d also thrown himself into his studies, wanting nothing more than to join the police force. It was hard work, and left little time for dating, or friends in general. 

But he’d also seemed painfully oblivious whenever someone showed interest in him, especially as he grew older. A co-worker would comment on how someone had been flirting with him, and Ichijou would find the mere thought ridiculous. No matter where he went, he seemed to pick up at least one admirer and be unaware of their affections.

The internet had wound up shedding some light on things for him, as time had passed and so much information became readily available. Ichijou couldn’t even remember what he’d been searching for in the first place, but he’d wound up stumbling across the terms “asexual” and “demisexual” and somehow, they seemed to answer a few questions about himself. 

Especially once he’d met Godai. Ichijou had never had any remotely romantic feelings for anyone in his life, but somehow, when Godai had come stumbling into the thick of things, and their paths kept crossing, and they began their alliance…something had started to warm up in Ichijou’s heart whenever Godai would smile at him and give him a thumbs-up. When Godai had died, Ichijou had felt such soul-crushing sadness, he didn’t think he would survive. And when he’d miraculously revived, Ichijou had come so close to doing something that could have changed their friendship into something more. But he had always been terrible at reading people, and Godai was so upbeat and kind with everyone, that surely he didn’t feel any differently toward Ichijou…right?

Ichijou had continued to struggle with his feelings until the last battle, and then Godai was simply…gone. And it felt as though something inside him had withered up and died, and he’d retreated into himself once again, hiding behind that perfectly stoic cop mask he’d always worn. 

Godai had gone, and nothing else had mattered.

Tears had started to spill from Ichijou’s eyes as he recalled all of this, and a look of alarm crossed Godai’s face. “We don’t have to do this right away, if it’s too much…”

“No. I want to. I’ve wanted to since…I’m not even sure when, but…please, Yusuke…”

Godai sucked in a sharp breath at hearing Ichijou saying his name so casually, and it felt like any lingering doubt in his mind was suddenly wiped away.

Ichijou-san…no, _Kaoru-san_ …really did love him, didn’t he?

Godai moved up to lay beside Ichijou, wiping the tears from his eyes, before leaning in to kiss him. Ichijou shifted closer to Godai’s body, running his fingers through his hair as he relaxed into the kiss, and Godai seemed to sense that he was being given permission to continue where he’d left off. He trailed one hand down, letting it run across Ichijou’s backside and cupping it gently, hearing him moan softly. It took a bit of juggling, and possibly some of the liquid wound up on Ichijou’s sheets and not on Godai’s fingers, but eventually Godai traced a slick finger over Ichijou’s hole once again, feeling him shiver slightly. He drew back just far enough, their lips still brushing together as they breathed, then slowly, gently, began to slip the finger in.

A shaky breath left Ichijou’s lips, and Godai pressed a quick kiss to them. “Good?” When Ichijou nodded, he worked the finger in a bit further, working oh so carefully to prepare him. “I think…I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, too. Maybe ever since I came back from the dead.”

Ichijou’s eyes opened, regarding him in surprise, a soft mewl leaving his lips as Godai continued his task. “You felt it then, too, didn’t you? How much more comfortable we were with each other? But I didn’t want to take the risk, and find out I’d read things wrong.”

When Ichijou was ready, Godai added a second finger, and Ichijou’s breathy exhalation of his name went directly to Godai’s groin. Ichijou’s forehead laid against Godai’s shoulder, and Godai brought his free hand up to delve into his hair. “I’m sorry it took this long…but…I’m glad we’re getting this chance, Kaoru-san.”

Godai’s fingers hit something at that moment, something that made Ichijou’s back arch, a sharp gasp leaving his lips. “You sound so good…how is it? Are you enjoying yourself so far?”

“Y-yes,” Ichijou gasped, crying out as Godai’s fingers hit that same spot again, and his grip on Godai’s arm tightened for just a moment. “Please, Yusuke, I want you!”

Godai groaned softly, feeling Ichijou’s fingers wrap around his shaft. “God…not yet…I’m not going to rush your first time and risk you getting hurt.”

Ichijou whimpered softly, his lips parting to release more delicious sounds as Godai continued to work him, and he slowly began to stroke him, not thinking he was capable of much else when Godai was making him feel so good.

“Mmm…careful, babe, I feel like I’m about to explode already,” Godai murmured. He gently coaxed Ichijou’s hand to his waist and leaned in to whisper, “Just hold on to me and let me make you feel good, ok?”

Ichijou had barely managed to nod, when Godai added a third finger inside him, and that alone was nearly too much, especially when he seemed to focus on constantly hitting that one spot inside him. Then Godai’s other hand was wrapping around his shaft and pumping him in time with the thrusting of his fingers. It felt as though only seconds had passed before Ichijou’s hips were bucking against Godai’s hand as he came between their bodies with a rather desperate-sounding cry.

“What do you think, Kaoru-san?” Godai whispered, his lips suddenly so close to Ichijou’s ear. “I think you’re ready for me now.”

“Yes, yes, please..!”

Godai silenced him with a soft kiss, then guided Ichijou onto his back once again, before fumbling for the condom box, hurriedly retrieving a package and tearing it open, before rolling the condom onto his length. He poured a bit more lube onto his palm and ran it along his length, seeing Ichijou’s eyes follow his every move, before settling himself between Ichijou’s legs. He pressed the head of his shaft lightly against Ichijou’s entrance, hearing his breath hitch for just a moment.

It felt as though they’d both been waiting for this moment forever.

Godai pushed his hips forward slightly, watching Ichijou’s head fall back as he entered him, his fingers tightening around the sheets, and in that moment, he knew he would never be able to walk away from him again.

“Kaoru-san…” Godai breathed, leaning down to capture his lips as he continued to slide deeper inside him, until he was fully seated. His hands rested on Ichijou’s hips as he began to move, keeping it slow at first, not wanting to overwhelm Ichijou with too much too quickly. But when Ichijou’s hands reached out, clumsily grabbing at him to try and bring him closer, pleading with him to move _faster_ , Godai happily indulged him.

It felt like an unfairly short time had passed, when Godai’s hand drifted down to begin stroking Ichijou again. He wanted them to cum as closely together as possible, and he was already so close!

Ichijou succumbed first, gasping Godai’s name as he came between them, and Godai followed just moments later, breathing Ichijou’s name against his ear. 

They trembled in each other’s arms for some time, their bodies feeling ultra sensitive from so much stimulation, yet they were reluctant to release one another, even after Godai withdrew from Ichijou’s body, moving just enough to remove the condom and tie it closed, tossing it in the direction of the small trash can he’d seen beside the bed.

Finally, Godai flopped on the bed, smiling when Ichijou drew closer, resting his head against Godai’s chest. “Good?”

“Hmm? Do you mean am _I_ good, or was _this_ good?” Ichijou murmured sleepily, gesturing vaguely at the two of them.

“Either? Both?” Godai chuckled, wrapping his arms around Ichijou and tangling their legs together.

“Yes, and _god_ yes,” Ichijou replied, moving just enough to press his lips to Godai’s. “Why did we wait so long?”

“I feel like it would have hurt so much more, if we’d gotten together back then,” Godai said with a sigh. “After that last battle…I still would have needed to leave. Especially if we’d been involved. I would have wanted to make absolutely sure that I was still…safe. Still human, and not a threat to those I cared about.”

Ichijou made a soft sound. “You’re probably right,” he said, biting back a yawn as he reached for the covers. “I’m amazed you’re still awake…I know in the past, the battles used to take a lot out of you.”

A soft snore cut him off, and Ichijou couldn’t help the fond smile that crossed his lips as he regarded the now fast asleep Godai. He pulled the covers up around them, then kissed Godai gently, hesitating for a moment to simply watch him sleep.

He didn’t expect the sudden swell of emotion, or to sudden whisper, “I love you, Yusuke. Welcome home.”


End file.
